Our past experiences start our future...

Rose standing on top of Mt Bierstadt, in Colorado

Growing up, I had the privilege of knowing and spending time with great grandparents, great aunts and uncles, and grandparents.  I saw them when they were functional and strong and I saw them when they were not.  The impact they had on me was far greater than I could understand, until now.  To watch my family members not only age but go from being active and walking around to sitting most of their end days had a profound effect on me.  I remember thinking, I don't want that to happen to me. As I have aged, I have remained active and it is a goal to remain active until death so that my quality of life in the end is good.  This is my goal and I think it could be your goal as well.  I don't think my relatives wanted to sit all the time when they were retired but they didn't know what to do to keep moving safely. 

Our family has a long list of health concerns including arthritis, osteoporosis, fibromyalgia, functional scoliosis, cardiac anomalies, and so on. My genetics are full of ailments that could keep me from fulfilling my purpose, if I let it. When my great grandparents started falling, followed by the hip breaks, it wasn't long and I was sitting at a celebration of life.  This felt so sad, even at a young age, I felt there must be something that could change this end of life scenario. I participated in different sports because I liked how I felt after practice and games. Swimming was my primary sport. I swam for 10 years on a summer swim team, 4 years in high school, and participated in college swimming intramural events. Feeling strong and confident from the efforts I put into my practices, kept me on this journey to where I am today.

While I was in college, my grandma B was struggling with her weight, type 2 diabetes, Fibromyalgia, and breathing because of underlying heart conditions.  I remember wanting to help through educating her with all the information I was learning about physical activity.  Unfortunately, I was living 2 hours away and video calls were not a thing.  After graduating from college, I moved to Colorado with my husband and now, I was even farther away.  She passed away in 2009 and it was not because of old age, it was lack of movement over the years and her body started to deteriorate.  When we move, we create circulation and renewal of our cells and joints.  If we take that away, the rate of regeneration slows down.  All of the busyness in our lives when we were younger-in our aging mind- gives us permission to rest in retirement.  Finding time to rest is important and finding time to move is important.  

Several years later my grandma D was moved into an assisted living facility after her husband passed away and just before COVID hit.  She was a very active person as she aged, taking daily walks, participating in the activities where she lived, and keeping up her strength as best as she could. I even did FaceTime calls with her a few times to help her with exercises the physical therapist gave her but it was challenging to not be there in person.  She was living 8 hours away from me.  The COVID shut downs played a huge role in her decline.  She was no longer able to go to the facility's activities, the residents had to be in quarantine when someone tested positive, and family member visits were limited.  FaceTime conversations became frustrating for her and all she could do was sit in her small apartment.  Sadly, my grandma passed away in 2021 after taking a bad fall and her mental health was not doing well either.  I wanted to help and I couldn't. 

Since the passing of my grandma D, I have come to understand the purpose of my life in God's kingdom. First, I had to heal from past trauma experiences and let me tell you, the mental pain and exhaustion I experienced during that time was a struggle. I had to rely on God to help me overcome the pain and learn to forgive the people that hurt me. As I kept going, the pain and heartache started to disappear. I found that building relationships and family-like connections with the people I spend time with, helped me find comfort during my healing journey. I am not saying I don't still experience triggers, because I do. I am saying I look back and can see the road I traveled and now it isn't so scary because I am stronger now. Getting through the struggles took a lot of dedicated work, time, and practice. This journey of life on Earth is hard because of the sin that exists. God will help us through these struggles through Jesus dying on the cross, followed by his resurrection, and the Holy Spirit living among us (in us if we are believers in Jesus). God gave each of us gifts, through our passions and interests we can bring God glory and more people to Christ.

When we take our past and give it to God to take care of, he grants us freedom from the lies of the enemy that keep us from completing our purpose. God=freedom and freedom=joy. I had a long journey to where I am today and many times I wanted to take the less scary route (the ignore the problem and get over it route) but God used the Holy Spirit to coach me to stay on the path. My body feels age however, when I exercise and educate others about their body, I feel so much joy and energy! I am honored that God chose ME and called me by name to serve his kingdom. How is God calling you to serve? Is there something in your past holding you back from stepping out in faith? Would you like to talk about it with me or someone else? Please reach out via email or sign up and download the app to connect with me there. You can receive my free newsletter with an exercise of the week, recipe, and ways to connect with others.